Letting go of someone that has broken your heart or that has passed away is unique in the sense that you already know what needs to be done. This person is no longer in your life, so eventually you will need to accept that and begin to move forward.
However, what does that look like? Most people don’t know how to let go and still be happy.
Many times loss can happen unexpectedly and feel very abrupt. Even with time, it can still be very difficult to accept, understand and let go. Many people believe that their life will not be the same when that person is gone, and they are right, it won't be. They don’t consider however, that their life actually has the potential to be even better. This perspective alone can be hard for most to adopt...but, it doesn't make it wrong.
What's true, is that the person is gone. Sometimes when a loved one passes or decides that they no longer want to be part of our lives, it leaves us surprised and it is easy to victimize ourselves.
In order to let the past go, we tend to first make sure that we are not at fault at being a bad person. We make up stories in order to prove to ourselves that we are good people because on some level many of us are afraid that we are not. This is not a conscious belief but, it can be on a subconscious level.
There are many reasons why we mourn longer than we need to. Mourning is extremely healthy. We must always give ourselves time to mourn and heal. Letting go however, is very different. You can mourn yet, simultaneously still let go. Being sad because you miss someone, knowing that you will not be able to make new memories together, is a healthy human response and emotion.
When that sadness becomes addictive to satisfy deep rooted self beliefs, it becomes unhealthy. What I mean by this is that sometimes people use heartache to avoid other parts of their lives that they should not be avoiding. The heartache gives them the excuse or reason to keep holding on, so that they can keep avoiding pain in other areas of their lives. They become addicted to the feelings associated with longing to be with someone as it begins to distract them from their life. These parts usually have to do with safety and vulnerability.
Just like a drug addict, addiction can be an easy thing to fall into and it doesn't have to be drugs or alcohol that we are addicted to. We start to believe that if only this person was back in my life, my life would be so much better. This stops us from making it better ourselves. We become reliant on the idea of someone else fixing how we feel and disconnect ourselves from the reality of our life.
We become powerless, and put ourselves in a situation where we will never feel better unless we actively do something about it. Like, actively acknowledge your own personal strength and commitment to your own happiness, regardless of what circumstance has been put in your way.
Be willing to focus on happiness for no reason at all. Your happiness should be tied to nothing. It should never be dependent on your actions or your beliefs.
To address deep rooted beliefs and live a healthy emotional life, it helps to remove any subconscious Emotional Footprint programs. These programs are at the core of our experience and dictate our mental health, our relationships with others and with ourselves and are also responsible for any emotional pain or suffering that we may be going through. To learn more about Emotional Footprints and how they control your life, you can download a free book about these subconscious programs here.