When we say the words “not letting go” or “holding on”, it seems like we’re saying the same thing. For example, if you’re holding on then you’re not letting go, and if you’re letting go then it means that you’re not holding on. They seem like the same thing just worded differently
The truth is, that they are not exactly the same. When someone is holding on to something or someone, there’s a benefit that they are receiving from it. They don’t believe that there is anything that they need to let go of. That’s the difference.
When someone needs to let go and is having difficulty with it, they actually know that they need to let go, they just can’t do it. The difference is in the blind spot. Many times we can’t see what we’re holding so tightly on to. We’re so attached to it that we believe that we need it in order to move forward in our lives. It's as if it’s a part of us.
We subconsciously create an unhealthy bond with someone or something that may be crippling us and then we use it or them as a crutch. How ironic.
Holding onto people or things makes people feel safe. It allows them to ignore certain aspects of their life and also deep fears of themselves that they may not want to face.
This illusion of safety that they get from holding on to whatever and whoever they’re attached to, causes them to overlook an unhealthy connection, that in many cases, is poisonous to them.
For them, it's familiar, they already know what to expect and the fear of the unknown future is too great to want to let go. They get used to living this way and for many people, change is scary. After all, they’re already alive, breathing, have shelter, food and clothing. The bare necessities are being satisfied, so there's no immediate threat in their lives that would cause them to seriously consider change.
The larger threat that is slowly chiseling away at their emotional wellbeing is still too far away in their minds. They feel like they have time. The quality of their lives is slowly deteriorating with every day that passes and they don’t even know it, or don’t want to face it. The risk of facing the truth holds so much uncertainty.
What if one of those necessities were to get challenged because they decided to let go of someone or something?
Many people are in a state of survival, even those who have a lot of money. It's a mentality, not a way of life. So, depending on an individual's subconscious programing and belief systems, any person is at risk of living their entire life from a place of survival.
Letting go of someone or something when you are in survival mode means immediate danger. Your conscious mind will be terrified, you’ll feel nervous, anxious and many times, you don't even know why. You just know that you don't want change.
Let's look at this from another perspective. For any living thing, when there is no nurturing, no movement, no nourishment, whatever it is, will begin to shrivel up and eventually die. By holding on to something that is hurting you, you are slowly deteriorating and risk losing one if not all of the necessities listed above.
If you want to enjoy your life, try to remember that whatever is hurting you now, will continue to hurt you until you let it go. It's worth facing the unknown when you can rely on what you've learned in your life to start fresh. You know what you don't want in your life moving forward, and that is a start. Eventually it will all come together. But, it all starts with letting go. The main obstacle here is an individual's belief system.
“If you’re not willing to change your beliefs, you will be controlled by the lies that you are subconsciously telling yourself.”
You need to be willing to look at your beliefs, and then list out the ones that are making you feel safe in order to stay in your current situation. Then acknowledge that they are not actually true, and instead are convenient.
One really good perspective to acknowledge is that change doesn’t mean immediate death or loss. Change inevitably will always bring you closer to real happiness, as long as you adopt the mindset that you can do this.
Change is a constant. There is nothing in life that ever stays the same. We need to stop pretending that we can’t handle life. We’ve already been handling it our entire lives. Might as well look forward to it and believe in ourselves!
It also helps to remove any subconscious Emotional Footprint programs that are associated with the experience. These programs are at the core of our experience and dictate our mental health, our relationships with others and with ourselves and are also responsible for any emotional pain or suffering that we may be going through. To learn more about Emotional Footprints and how they control your life, you can download a free book about these subconscious programs here.